You know all those little moments that push you forward? Yeah, this was one of mine.

I’m bringing this one out of the archives. It has been on my mind all week, so it’s got a message somebody needs to hear. This is from 2010. That was a while ago, but the message is still so timely today…

I think about my friend, Troy Allan, and I reflect upon his death today. Briefly, though, because it is so much more powerful for me right now to reflect upon his life.

Troy is hot. It has been whispered in some of my circles over the past few years that I have a “crush” on Troy. This seems very silly to me. I mean, I’m 46, wife for 19 years to a loving husband, mother of 3 half-grown children, and I’ve spent the past 20 years as a Counselor, a Healer, and a Minister!

But my friend, Lynda, who has been with me for 27 years and knows me pretty well, says, indeed, I have a crush on Troy, a BIG crush. She saw it the first moment I ever laid eyes on him as he took the stage with Jerry Diaz and the band in Galveston at Riddles, which for those of you who don’t know is “summer camp for Parrotheads.” Apparently, I asked Lynda, “Who is that?!” in a way that she hadn’t seen me looking since we were in college.

That was 4 years ago.

I don’t have crushes. It’s not my style… until Troy.

My husband has been a really good sport about the whole thing. He caught on to it pretty quickly. He knows me really well, too. Between him and Lynda, I can’t get away with much.

Two summers ago, an e-mail went out asking, would anyone like Troy to come to your house and give you a private concert? Are you kidding me? Yeah, I would! And so the “party in the cornfield” was born. It was my husband who set me up in a photo op with Troy that ended in our first kiss. What a husband, huh?!

In the beginning, I would have told you that what I liked about Troy was that he was, well, hot. He was a cowboy, and he played the guitar and sang Trop Rock and Country music. What I came to see more recently is that Troy has a beautiful spirit, too, and a loving presence about him, and an inner strength that he had to call on in these past few years.

Troy was diagnosed with cancer, a rare form of cancer that came into his life very quickly and started to take over. What Troy also had was a dream to write and sing songs and to travel and play music for people. He had just left his “day job” to pursue his dream more fully when he found out about the cancer. And he stepped up.

While in the hospital receiving his chemo treatments, he began to play and sing for the other patients. He wrote a song called I Can!  He filmed some videos about his journey, and then he set out this year to do a 100-house concert tour, raising money and educating people along the way, all the while fighting his own battle with cancer.

“Due to the silent growth and virtually no symptoms from this cancer, Troy has taken it upon himself to alert the masses,” says his website. “He chronicled his journey through Chemo, radiation and even his recovery after surgery.” Troy was the longest living person with Linitis Plastica, and he designed his concert tour to spread the word about the cancer and how everyone can get checked for it, as well as spreading his music across the Nation. His intention for his videos was also to help everyone understand what new cancer patients will be going through. In an effort to “get RID of the fear of the unknown” for others, he opened himself and his life up to the public in every way. In one of his videos, in the face of his own fear, he reaches out to others and tells them, “Keep a great attitude. I care about you.” (http://www.troyallan.com/)

What touches me most where I stand today is that I have a dream. I have a passion equal to the passion I saw in him for his music. I know what I came here to do. And, now, even more than ever, I know that it is up to me to do this thing I love to do every day, not to put it off, not any of it. I have a big life to live. Troy was living his big life through it all. He held tight to his dream, and he moved forward. Some days, he moved forward with his fanny pack strapped to his waist administering his chemotherapy treatments. He traveled all over, and he sang, and he touched peoples’ lives in ways that are evident to me today as I read his Facebook page and receive all the e-mails circulating around our circle.

This week, he was going to be performing in Key West for Jimmy Buffett’s Meeting of the Minds, and he was busy making plans for Pardi Gras in New Orleans in January, and building his schedule of house concert tours in between. If you look on his website, his schedule was full. His life was full.

Never did he miss a step until he took his last step.

First, I was inspired by Troy, because I saw him step out and start living his dream. Now, I am inspired by Troy in the way he lived his life and stayed true to his dream no matter what.

And through it all, he did exactly what he told others to do. He kept a great attitude. And he cared about people.

I’m going to let Troy’s words say what is left to be said that it may inspire you, too…

Troy wrote a song called, I Can!

I can do what I put my mind to
I can do all that others can’t
I have pride and determination
So don’t you ever tell me that I can’t
‘Cause I’ll prove you wrong
My will is strong
Hey I’ve just got to believe, I can

I can make a difference!
My voice will be heard
Ideas can move mountains
If the action’s more than word
I know I’ll go the distance
even though the road is steep
Hey I’ve just got to believe… I CAN.

Some say don’t even try
No matter what the task
But if the human mind can dream it,
Well, the Bible says it’ll come to pass
Expecting the best and
Accepting no less if you
Just keep telling yourself, I CAN

I can make a difference!
My voice will be heard
Ideas can move mountains
If the action’s more than words
I know I’ll go the distance
even though the road is steep
Hey I’ve just got to believe… I CAN.

Gotta take it on yourself
Can’t blame nobody else
Gotta do what others won’t
To have what others don’t
Willing and able makes everything possible
Just keep telling yourself, I CAN!

I can make a difference!
My voice will be heard!
Ideas can move mountains!
If the action’s more than words
I know I’ll go the distance
even though the road is steep
Hey I’ve just got to believe… I CAN!

Well I’ve just got to believe I CAN! I CAN! I CAN!