Wow, this has been coming up a lot this week! I have gotten up on my soapbox multiple times, and the engagement in this topic has been through the roof.
And, you know what else, it has polarized people. There is no neutral here.
Yesterday, I got up on my soapbox again. I had to. I was in a Facebook group, and this came up. Yep again. It immediately polarized a crowd of over 8000 people. I am not kidding. The thread was catching fire. It was heated. It’s still a huge topic.
Late last night, some of the people involved were still messaging me and commenting.
I would love to know your thoughts and feelings on this. Are you with me in finally shifting this outdated, irrational, paradigm that is keeping people from their greatness? Talk to me in the comments below the blog post.
My clients have a calling, gifts, a message they want to share with the world. That is what first motivates them. They don’t set out to build a business or be an entrepreneur. They are not shopping for franchises or deciding which widget to sell.
But what they are brilliant at, they are giving away for free or selling for a dollar a minute, then working jobs they hate to pay the bills, and then they end up sick, broke, miserable, in toxic relationships and environments, feeling lost, confused, disappointed and dissatisfied. All the while, they have this huge Vision and dream in their head and don’t know how to bring that into the world.
It’s the age-old struggle, the only industry or arena where there is a question about charging for what you do, for what your gifts are, for bringing a service into the marketplace and offering it to people.
The discussion was all about a woman posting that she can’t pay her bills, her husband just got laid off, she has these amazing gifts that transform peoples’ lives, and she knows this, because she is out there in the world giving this away for free! She is the one people approach, the one people call, the one people seek out. She has been praying about what to do. She needs money.
But, here’s the thing, she believes that it is not right to charge people for helping them. She has a lot of beliefs and feelings and emotions that get money and spirituality all twisted up inside of her. I see this all the time. I used to live it, too.
She then was talking on the thread about doing the work for “love donations.” That makes me crazy! Here is where I start reaching for my soapbox.
If you are not a non-profit, asking for donations is not a donation. I see this so often, then people feel upset and disappointed and cheated when people don’t pay them what they were expecting. Here’s what I learned in my own journey, the hard way. It’s not noble, and it’s not serving. It’s about our own self-esteem and self-worth issues. Our own issues with our value. It’s putting ourselves into servitude instead of being in service.
When you actually ask other people how they experience this, they are uncomfortable. They don’t like it. It leaves a bad taste in their mouths. It creates tension. Because, you are asking someone else to put a value on your worth, and you are not willing to do it for yourself. When you do this, you will always lose.
A choice point arrives, and I stood there several years ago. You choose whether you are going to be a volunteer or have a hobby or have a business. One is not better than the other; it’s all personal choice. The thing is, you have to choose.
I thought I was running a business, until it became a very expensive hobby and created financial disaster for me and my family.
That is when I chose being in business. I want to do this and only this and not have to do anything else but this, and now I do. I now have turned that expensive hobby into a full-time thriving global online business. I chose to be in business, and then I took consistent aligned action in that direction. And it all started with what was the most difficult piece for me, to provide my services and charge for them.
I have been a helper and a healer in some form my whole life. I get this. I used to struggle with it. In many ways, society still supports the notion of giving yourself away for free if you are “Spiritual.” And the Spiritual Community is the worst at shaming their own people. Again, drives me crazy. And breaks my heart.
Thus, the soapbox.
In previous times, these people who provided these services were always taken care of by the community. All their needs were met. They never gave anything away for free. Each day, their blessing bowls were filled. They were paid, and well. People don’t realize this. They think “they used” to give this away for free. No. Never. Well into more modern times, Ministers of Churches were provided with everything included their housing.
Today, we are not set up this way, so people need to charge on their own.
One more thing I pointed out when I was having this discussion on Facebook, and I really can’t tell you how many times I have found myself saying this just this year, because it’s so important to recognize and understand.
The whole notion of Mother Teresa as selfless servant, suffering and poor has been held up as a shining example of what we “should be” doing. People have painted such a picture that perpetuates this.
In truth, Mother Teresa was a brilliant businesswoman. She chose to live simply when she went to places she felt called to help the people she felt she was here to serve, the poor. She was supported by a billion dollar company. She traveled everywhere she went by private car and private jet. She had all her needs met and those of everyone who worked with her. In the words of her Assistant, “It takes millions of dollars to keep Mother Teresa in poverty.”
Have you ever heard of Amma the Hugging Saint? She comes to Dallas every year, and every year, I make my own mini-pilgrimage and go to see her, to listen to her teachings, and to receive my Darshan, my blessing, through a saintly hug. All of this is free. But make no mistake, Amma is a brilliant businesswoman. She has created a billion-dollar empire. It is what allows her and her entire entourage to travel the world, serving the people. She builds orphanages. She assists in disaster relief. She stays in fine hotels with a dozen or more of her staff and travels with them all. All her needs are met, because she has set up a system and structure that allows her to be taken care of so she can do the work she came into the world to do.
Really let that land – All her needs are met, because she has set up a system and structure that allows her to be taken care of so she can do the work she came into the world to do.
So, now, are you with me in finally shifting this outdated, irrational paradigm that is keeping people from their greatness?
Talk to me in the comments below the blog post. I want to talk to you more about this.