Find Your Freedom Series Episode Eight: Saving Yourself

Hello, this is Michelle Barr, welcome to Working for Spirit podcast. In my last episode, I just briefly touched on this that I now want to dedicate this whole episode to episode two. It has been a big learning and growth code for me and something that I haven’t really had to work on. 

I want to plant the seed for you because I want you to understand the depths of this. I had a mentor just this morning talking to me about this very thing and I want you all to understand as well. This is one of the episodes in the Find your freedom series. You can find the whole series at workingforspiritpodcast.com. 

So I will encourage you to listen to the other episodes as well. You can find the other training series that I do. My podcast has a series of trainings around specific things that you all are really asking for and wanting, meeting and desiring. 

Let’s dive right into this. This work of living in your purpose, doing your soul work, showing up being all of who you are, and manifesting everything that you need, want and desire. Because here’s the secret and the key, I cannot stress enough the way to manifest everything you need, want and desire revolves around showing up as you and offering your value into the world. 

You are valuable just because you are here. You are made in the image of. You are a divine spark. You are a precious ray. A precious drop in the ocean that is Spirit and you contain the all within you as the one. Your body is your temple and your vessel and your vehicle as you’ve heard a lot and I really want to dive into this.

In order to manifest everything you need, want and desire is very much about being fully you and bringing your fullest value at any time into the world, into the marketplace, into your relationships. That’s how you create abundance. That is the key and that is the journey that you are here for. This work requires extreme self care and not only that, I want you to understand the fullness of what this self-care really encompasses and it’s ongoing.

I travel a lot in my work, I built it into my work. Before COVID, I was traveling so much that when COVID hit, I had 15 trips canceled immediately. I had a few years at different times where I was traveling two and three times a month. I love being able to combine pleasure and work all in one trip when I’m able to visit friends and family and then attend a business conference or mastermind with my coach and spend my birthday in a resort that’s beautiful and that I love having a whole day or a few days to myself or going somewhere on business and bringing my husband so we can have some time as well. That means I spend time serving myself and I spend time serving others. 

I want to talk to you about saving yourself. I don’t use this word lightly. But people in my world are often helpers and healers in some way, shape and form. They may be people pleasers and over givers. They may run to save and rescue others. And what they’re not doing it’s saving yourself. Because I’ve traveled so much, I’ve been on a lot of airplanes, my traveling has amped up post COVID. Even before some of the people. I’m in full swing again and loving it. Last year I even went out of the country. I’m about to go out of the country again. Last year I walked the Camino through Spain as a personal and spiritual growth and development opportunity.

This year I am walking through Italy via Francigena. Last year was the Camino de Santiago. This year the via Francigena into Rome. I’m on a lot of airplanes. I’ve been on a lot of airplanes, so I have watched that safety presentation many many times. I’ve seen this information so many times in my life that I find myself zoning out, staring off into space and that’s when I do some of my best thinking on a trip a few years ago as the flight attendant demonstrated the cabin losing pressure and the oxygen mask dropping and began giving instructions. 

I found myself thinking about this in relation to my business and my life. Those of us who are called to be healers and to help other people often do so at our own expense. Too often you will find me constantly speaking to all the helpers of the world about self-care and about self-transformation and self healing and I promise you that I will practice what I preach. But I didn’t always.

Think of this as it relates to your own life and to how you show up in the world as you are building a business or building a career or working for your employer or volunteering in your community being a stay at home mother for a season. Are you serving yourself before you go out and serve others? 

When you are worn out, drained of energy and running out of oxygen, you can’t fully show up as all of who you are to serve others. This leads to a lot of burnout and frustration, resentment, feelings of defeat, until no one is being served well. You are the only one who has the power to change this. Schedule time for yourself into your day, your week, your month and your year. 

I had a very interesting thing happen with a coach and mentor I was working with and this very thing I’m talking about is why I always have coaches, mentors, teachers and advisors to help me, to support me, to guide me and people who helped me with my healing and my growth and my transformation.

This was some years ago now and I learned to do it and at first it seemed like I can’t possibly do that. How would I even do that? No, that’s not going to work. You don’t understand. But she said at the end of the year, schedule your time off in the new year first. Because this whole way of living and being is creating a vision of the life you want to live in, then creating everything else to support and sustain that. 

This is all about setting yourself up for what you need and taking care of yourself instead of letting the obligations and roles and responsibilities of others suddenly turn your life into something you don’t want to be living. I just knew I could not be living for the weekends or my one or two weeks off a year. I saw that early. 

But still I would put things on the calendar and then I would less on get scheduled over. Now it has to be something that is family oriented, and even business opportunities would have to be really spectacular. You want to break these patterns and habits. 

She told me to schedule your time off first. And that’s what I started doing and having things to look forward to and time for whatever it is I want it by myself with my husband with my whole family, now with my grandchild and more grandchildren on the way with. I’m getting ready to travel with my parents and my siblings and their spouses to do this big walk. 

We did it together last year. These are memories being made and opportunities. At the moment I can’t put them off and they end up creating more abundance and prosperity for me than working hard and twisting myself all around ever would. 

How much time are you willing to schedule off for yourself now? I mean, mark it on your calendar, a commitment time for yourself before you see what else might be calling for your intention. I see so many people even with things they want to do, or things that are a great training opportunity or a great live event for them to attend or even plans with family or friends. 

Holding off at the last minute to make sure there’s nothing else that’s going to get in the way or present itself. Once you’ve scheduled the time for yourself, decide what you’d like to do with that time. When was the last time you had a massage, went out for lunch, saw a movie or spent uninterrupted hours in their favorite bookstore? Whatever it is, because I’m talking about the big things. 

There were coaches who would tell me they take a week off at least every 90 days. That was my first goal. Now I easily do that. I also told you about my life to travel for business, whether it’s my own teaching and training or me serving my clients and my community and then wrap into that things for myself. 

So I combined them sometimes. We’re talking about the big things, how often there’s people who say they go a whole year without these things. Then look at the months and the weeks and the days then I had a goal later down the line. I want to take every Friday off and guess what happened first. My old habits and patterns “Oh with that client needs to be seen and they can only be seen on Friday. Okay.” No, not okay. 

I had coaches modeling the boundaries for me, and they were making all the money and having all the clients and serving all the people. It wasn’t hurting them in the least and it was actually benefiting them.

All of this breathed life back into you so that you can do work in the world. Your life will be enhanced and the lives of those you serve will be enhanced. Everybody. When I kept seeing coaches say when I get a massage, I make more money. I thought okay, I’m willing to believe that I understand the energetic principle. I understand that. I’m going to do an experiment right now. 

When I don’t feel like I have the time this was some years back when I was really an offensive growth and push in my business. I said for the month of January, I’m going to schedule a massage every single week and I’m going to go to it no matter what.I’m going to protect that time and then you know what else I’m going to take myself out to lunch after my massage and I did. While I was on the massage table, I made money, my clients, I got opportunities. I got offers. All of it.

I have learned over the past years to spend the first few days of the year, scheduling all my time off for the year. That is the first thing to go into my calendar. Also I just did this yesterday because I tell you I don’t ever ask you to do anything that I wouldn’t do. An opportunity showed that Spirit was crystal clear. I needed to go to it. I looked at my calendar and my mind wanted to say wow, you’re just getting back from Italy. 

Then you’ve got this, this and this and how’s that going to work? I rechecked and I felt it at the core. I knew I had to do it. So instead of putting it in the back of my mind or setting it aside or saying I’ll wait and see. I put it on my calendar. I booked the hotel, I booked the plane ticket and I paid for the event and booked myself into the event. Now it’s solid. 

I told you we’re committed. I decided this is happening and it will all work itself out in my favor. A few years back a while ago my coach asked me and each of my colleagues, how much time did you schedule for yourself next year. So we’re getting close to looking at the last 100 days of the year. It’ll be here before you know it in September. It will be happening. 

So I will ask you, how much time are you willing to schedule off for yourself next year? Are you committed to keeping these important appointments with yourself? No matter what. I get it a couple of years ago this would have made me squirm big time. “But what about, what is, I don’t know yet”. Please put the brakes on your runaway mind right now. I’m telling you, this is super important. 

In the beginning you have scheduling some things in your week in your mind in each quarter and in your year and at least one really big thing. Now my husband and I and along with my family as well, we schedule something big at least once every year and guess what? More and more opportunities that match my desires show up for me to say yes to but now I’ve created new beliefs, new thoughts, new feelings that create new actions, new habits and patterns that create new results.

I am a recovering co-dependent, a wounded healer. I have run myself into the ground trying to rescue and save others. I once wanted my life to play out like a Lifetime movie with me as a valiant hero, fighting for the helpless and hopeless. I went into those arenas. I worked harder than the people I was trying to help. I chase people down to rescue and save them that didn’t want to be rescued and saved. I destroyed my health, my finances and my relationships along the way. 

Then guess what? I became bitter and resentful. I was frustrated and I lost hope. But over the years I’ve learned so much. I have been willing to look at my life, how I’m living it and what I want it to look like,

 First, everything else gets designed to create and support this. So I look at my life, how I want to live it. What I want it to look like is what’s involved in all of it. I spend time visioning it. Where do I live? Who’s around me? What kind of money do I have? What car Am I driving? What am I doing in my spare time? How do I feel the essence of it while remember leaving the how’s to the universe? I do this first. 

Then everything else gets designed to create and support this. Just think about people who work a job they don’t love and they’re going to work that job just dreaming of the day when they never have to do it again. They’re around people, they don’t love doing things, they don’t want to do. No, that wasn’t for me. That is why we set out to create our own businesses after all, for the promise of freedom or to build a career you love that benefits you and sets the boundaries, those people end up creating their entire life around the demands of the job.

They’re commuting when they don’t love it. They’re giving up their time when they don’t love it. This is not a way to live. If it’s for a short time, yes, there was a time I told my husband. We’re both going to put our hands down for five years and we are going to work so that we can have this next level of freedom that we want. But I was doing work I loved and then I was made to do and some days I was tired but a good tired and guess what? I still took the time off. 

Even when I was busy, busiest. That year I started deciding I want to have Fridays off. I began to give myself with Friday’s off and it made a huge difference for me. Before that I was trying to eke out time for myself when I have little breaks in my schedule, but I wasn’t committed to it and I let other things intrude. Oh well now I don’t have enough time to leave the house. Now I’m too busy. 

Once I marked that timeout for me on a consistent basis. I began doing things like taking a yoga class and I gave myself time and space to dream and reflect and create without the demands of others. With a totally free day. There were days I did nothing. There are days I stay in my pajamas. I watched my shows that were recorded or read a book. I made myself my favorite food. There were other days like going out and I ran errands. There were days I went to a movie or I took myself to lunch. There were days that I worked on something that was important to me, but it was without the demands of others. 

Nobody else was going to interfere with that time. The time is mine to do whatever I want with it. Sometimes I use it to go out with other people. I am taking care of myself so that I can serve you better. I took care of this vessel. 

Now let’s talk about this part that I brought up about what self care is. I don’t want to say what self care isn’t, isn’t because it’s all within so people think I’ll go get a massage. I’ll get my nails done, I’ll get a pedicure, I’ll take myself out for a meal I’ll sleep in. Those are all good but it goes so much deeper. 

You are an energetic being in energetic exchange with everyone and everything in your world. When you’re manifesting, you’re taking an energetic impact merging the 5D, the fields, the quantum with your 3D vehicle vessel body. 

You’ve got to take care of that body. You’ve got to look at your nutrition and how you supplement that in the body work. Whatever that means for you and the time to get out in nature. If that means you are getting the water if that feeds you or exercise or whatever works for you. It means looking at what your body needs and giving it what it needs taking care of you, not waiting till you get into crisis. 

I have a big story and it is not uncommon among healers and empaths and people who take care of others and people who live their purpose and are called into helping others but remember you are called to be in service not servitude. Here’s a big one and you got to get this one in the highest good of all does not include you it’s not for the highest good. Let that land, then I’ll take you even further. 

The highest good not only has to include you, it has to start with you. But you can get there baby steps, baby steps, looking at all areas to take care of yourself as a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual being because the other thing I talked about that is key in manifesting and purpose work. 

For people like you and I that is emotional mastery and energy management. So taking care of the physical which I just talked about the mental and emotional and the spiritual, what spiritually feeds you and bringing that into your everyday life not just running off once a year if you even allow it to a spiritual retreat, all of these levels and layers of yourself including the physical body and supporting it. 

It’s a work in progress. It’s important. Saving yourself before you run around trying to save everyone else. My coach’s request to you. Let all this land, make time for yourself. Give to yourself. Don’t make this something that you do after everything and everyone else gets their piece. Give yourself some time and space to breathe margin on your calendar and honor the gift. Answer this question: What do I want my life to look like? Then move forward. With this question answered first, making decisions becomes a whole lot easier. 

Make this the year you respond to your highest good first in all areas of your life. Pull out your calendar and get started right now. When you hear in a few weeks that there are 100 days or less than 100 days left in the year.

Consider how you are shaping and creating 2023 and how you are going to make next year the year that you saved yourself and you are about your highest good and then you have a story to tell of how many other people impacted in the most positive way and all the abundance to reward that came flowing to you in your life. I promise.

Stay tuned for more in the Find your freedom series. You can visit my website at michellebarr.com, connect with me on Facebook:  facebook.com/michellebbarr. I’m on there every day, serving you information, inspiration, motivation and education, lighting you up and sharing my journey with you and supporting and guiding you in your own journey. 

I love doing this. I’m so happy you’re here in my community. Take this one to heart before another day goes by. I’m sending you all the blessings. I’m here to take a stand for you. Catch up on my workingforspiritpodcast.com showing up for you. I will show up for you with more. Thank you so much 

Michelle Barr