FROM LIVING BY DEFAULT TO LIVING BY DESIGN
– Manifesting In High Heels,
– Michelle Barr, Contributing Author
Sometimes it still amazes me what I have created here.
I mean, I really did it! After turning my life into an experiment for the Law of Attraction, I have completely shifted Living By Default into Living By Design.
I lived by default because I wasn’t in control. Everyone else was. Others called the shots; I just followed along. My husband, parents, children, friends and co-workers controlled my emotions. My job controlled my work hours and paychecks. I submitted myself to the demands and expectations of others without regard to the effects it would have on me.
Despite the circumstances, I figured living by default was the norm. It was how life was meant to be – miserable and unfulfilling. We can’t all be happy all the time, I thought. And, believe me, there are plenty of people who will gather around you and support THAT belief.
When I came to that place in 2003 where I was sick of everything in my life, I couldn’t believe it. I had been here before. The first time, I had taken control of myself and my life, gone through an intense spiritual awakening, and had created a whole new life. Yet, a decade and a half later, here I was again.
I’ve rebooted my life from miserable circumstances – including an unhappy marriage and draining career – TWICE. The second time, it stuck!
The first time I was just intuitive and just awakened enough to pull myself out of my miserable circumstances and create a better life. The problem was, I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t consciously creating. So I ended up creating some of what I wanted and a lot of what I didn’t.
It wasn’t until I committed myself to learning how to consciously create life on my terms that I transformed my life for the better with lasting results.
When all the buzz began about the Law of Attraction and I woke up a second time, I knew they were saying something that felt right. It was like I was being reminded of something I already knew. But I, like many others, struggled to use the Universal Principles put forth to me to transform my life for the better.
Something inside of me recognized I was standing at this place again, with some sort of do-over, a pop quiz from the Universe to do it differently this time. And this time, I finally learned how to master it.
I embarked on a journey that day that I may not have agreed to if I had known where it would take me. But, from where I stand now, I would do it all over again.
If you are one of those people who feel that “The Secret” and the whole Law of Attraction movement failed them, I get it. “The Secret” served a purpose of bringing this Ancient Wisdom and Universal Thought into the mass consciousness, but, in order to do that, it had to be watered down.
People watched the movies, read the books, listened to the audios over and over, joined groups to help them make it work, carried rose quartz in their purse, alongside their gratitude journal, updated daily with “5 Things I am Grateful for Today…” And, still, it just wasn’t working.
After several weeks or even months of practice, many people failed to manifest what they most desired. They still didn’t love their work. They still didn’t have enough money. Their marriage was still on the rocks. Their spouse still threatened to leave. Their children refused to behave. Creditors and bill collectors continued to call.
Since they failed to get results, they figured the Law of Attraction was nothing more than feel-good “woo-woo hocus pocus.” It might work for some, but for the most part, they decided it was for suckers, and they discarded the beliefs they had been holding onto like a lifeline, felt jilted, and resigned themselves to living their life as is, by default.
Still, something about this whole Law of Attraction thing was ringing true to me. I decided, what did I have to lose? I already was dissatisfied with my life. I was pretty miserable. So, I made that decision in the heat of an inspired moment to turn my life into an experiment for the Law of Attraction. I could not have known how it would completely transform not only my life but the life of my husband and children, and it would become not just my life but my life’s work.
You see, the problem was and is not The Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction works. In fact, it’s infallible, and it’s on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, whether you believe in it or not. You just have to understand how to work with it.
The truth is, you can’t get what you want by just thinking happy thoughts about it. You have to take Action. That is the real secret. It’s the key to everything.
After all that, this is going to seem so simple, possibly too simple, but here is how it works. To make it even easier for you, as you are learning something new and putting it into practice, I have broken it down into a simple exercise with four simple steps. Take out a blank index card.
1. Set an intention of something you want to create. Write it down on a notecard.
Be very clear. Be very specific. The important thing is to stay with what you want without regard to how it could happen. Leave the how’s to the Universe. This is an important Universal Law that will absolutely determine your results.
2. Come up with new actions you are willing to take to make this happen. Write them down on the other side of the note card.
This is not about springing into action and just doing, doing, doing. This is about getting into a quiet, reflective place and connecting with what you want and writing it down. Then, become inspired, and write down actions you are inspired to take.
Ask and it is given is a Universal Principle. It is found in every sacred text, and it is absolutely true. When you ask, the Universe always begins delivering to you what you are asking for. Most people just aren’t prepared for how it actually shows up in comparison to how they expect it to show up. When you ask, begin immediately to watch for opportunities to show up. And remember this, they will not be logical, comfortable or convenient. They will stretch and grow you. If you didn’t need to grow and stretch to receive them, you would already have them.
3. Follow through with at least one.
Get into inspired, aligned action right away. Take one action, then watch for feedback. Stay in action. Learn to Act, Assess, and Adjust. Course correct as needed. Just don’t stop. The Universe will continue to give you feedback. Watch for breadcrumbs, and follow the breadcrumbs, even when, ESPECIALLY when they don’t make sense. Just follow the breadcrumbs.
4. Make it happen! And watch the Universe go to work for you.
The Universe responds to true need. It does not play the when/then game. You always have to take the first step. Then it will rush in to support you. You are building a trust muscle here. Try this first with small things, less important things. Don’t try this right away with things that trigger you emotionally. The easiest things to manifest are those which you have High Desire for and Low Resistance to.
Hang on to the card. Hang it up where you can see it. Track your progress on it. This works best when you can stay engaged but detached from the outcome. You can affirm and write on the card, “Thank you for this or something better.” Leave the door open for something to show up that is better than what you are asking for. You can’t even imagine the miracles the Universe can deliver to you! And, when it shows up, express gratitude, and tack the card up on your celebration board or tuck it into your gratitude journal, and go for the next one.
The key here is these things at first are things you do. They are new ways of thinking, new patterns of behavior, new ways of doing things. And, over time, they become more than things you do. They become a way of living, and a way of being.
Right before your eyes, your life will Transform.
Living this way has allowed me to create a Vision of the life I want to live and then create a business that supports and sustains that life, and it changes with me, it grows and evolves with me. It always supports me and my life first, and as I am supported, I am able to touch and impact many in the world.
